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Getting Married vs Staying Married

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Getting Married vs Staying Married

A Quick Check of Your Marital Status

Marriage is called a necessary evil by many ignorant folks; men and women who cannot understand, nor accept the basic principles of marriage, but enjoy the reality of its operations.

If you have studied the book of Genesis 1 and 2, which chronicles the creation of heaven, the earth and its inhabitants. You would have noticed that after every creation of God, there was a standard appraisal by God on the product (creation). And in all instances, God said good! In fact, after man was created, God gave very good status on man.

However, in chapter 2 of Genesis, verse 18; God said, it is not good for the very good product (man) to be alone.Hence, the primary purpose of any marriage must be to address the weighty matter of loneliness in any man – be it a Pastor, a Pope or a President!

God thought about this weighty matter of loneliness; He did not assign any of the angels (spirits) to meet the apparent need to the man; He did not speak into the need of the man to be met by supernatural means – but decided to make another creature that will look like the man (comparable) and be with the man (companionship).  No wonder after the fall of Adam, he told God that the woman You gave to be with me, gave me and I ate. (Genesis 3:12).

Therefore, marriage is basically for comparable companionship. The woman must be comparable to the man for any meaningful companionship to take place. And the major reason for divorce is hardly a matter of beauty or handsomeness; but issues of comparability.

Please note, without comparability, there can never be companionship – and companionship is not for the record; but for a daily experience.

May I then say that being married without being companions is a waste of time and an invitation for destruction. Have you wondered why many great people, politicians and pastors fall from great heights in societies? They are seen to be married, they are known to be married, and certified to be married; however, they are missing in marriage. To be missing in marriage is to be lacking in the components of marriage – comparability and companionship.

At a point in time, every marriage starts on the wedding day (which connotes getting married); however, there is a huge difference between getting married and staying married. Do you notice that, on a typical wedding day, the couple go together to wherever they decide (together) to go. They even hold each other’s

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hands and they go for honeymoon together. However, as time goes on, as the crave for survival sets in, as matters of the extended and the immediate family sets in, the couple begin to stay further away from each other. In worst cases, the couple reside and work at two locations, cities, states or countries. They engage themselves in what is tagged marriage by proxy. The question in my mind is, “Are proxy marriages truly marriages?” “Are the components of marriage satisfied in proxy marriages?”

You see, whatever a man sows he will reap! You cannot deprive your “wife” true companionship (physical, not spiritual) and still claim to be married. If God did not assign a spirit to address the weighty loneliness of Adam; how come you think your prayer can meet the daily emotional, mental and physical needs of your “spouse”?

Each wife see your handsome physique around, she often feel safe and assured; how do you think shouting at her on phone will satisfy her need for your presence?

You see, you are either married or not married. When you are married, you must stay with your wife or your husband. It is your presence, availability and attention to her or his needs that makes you a married man or woman – so do not fool yourself with the marriage certificate – you must be together daily (meeting needs) to claim to be married!


 Gboyega Adedeji  Leadersoil  Leadership Coaching in Nigeria  Leadership Coach  Life Coaching  Coaching  Abuja  Bwari  Nigeria  Centre for New Dimension Leadership 

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